Friday, May 22, 2009
Dr. Strangedebt - How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My HELOC
This post is brought to you by the Joneses.
Yeehaw!! I love my Home Equity Line of Credit - HELOC.
On the path to financial self destruction, I use my HELOC to buy cars, cool gadgets, vacations, consolidate credit card debt, etc. You name it, and I've spent borrowed money on it.
My friends all think I make $150,000 per year but I only make $50,000 but I'm not going to tell them. I'm living the high life, drinking Hennessey, weekends in Vegas, new car every couple years. I'm going to keep doing it too until I collapse under the wieght of all the debt and declare bankruptcy or I'm forced to sell my home and pay off my debts. Every time I go to the bank, they offer me more money and my rates keep going down so it frees me up to do more cool stuff with money I don't have. My house is making me rich because I can just keep getting more money because my house went up in value. I bought my house for $300,000 a few years ago, had a $250,000 mortgage, and now the house is worth $600,000 and I have a $480,000 HELOC. I'm lovin' it. I just keep making those interest only payments of $1500 per month and its all good.
Strange thing happened though, I went into the bank last week to increase my HELOC because my 2007 Lexus RX is getting a little old now and I really want a new one so I need a little bit of money ($25,000) to pay the difference between the trade in and the new car but the mortgage rep at the bank told me that there was no more money and that they wouldn't increase my HELOC - the nerve. I was pissed because I work hard and I deserve that new car. I told her that I was going to take my business elsewhere if she didn't find a way to do it. She laughed at me and wished me luck. I thought to myself 'that was a little strange - that's never happened before' and I went to another bank. I couldn't get an appointment for like a week and today when I went there, they laughed at me too.
I'm starting to get concerned because I can't put up with driving this old clunker around for much longer. Any advice for this poor soul!?